2026/16/06
I'm happy to announce that after months of settling in, R (my younger sister) is fully moved in with me.
It's been taking SUCH a long time, since my parents have been struggling so much with renovating the house. It's a thirty minute drive between the old house and my new one, and we had to swap between our car and our grandma's truck constantly. The car even broke down at one point during everything, so transporting R's belongings really has been a nightmare, but that part's over now at least.
I really am so happy that we're living under the same roof again, since I missed her so much. I'm not quite sure how she feels about living with me, or if she'd much rather being living in her own place by herself, but no matter what, I want to be a good friend to her.
We've had some issues adjusting though, and it's been hard trying to gage exactly what she wants sometimes. I'm always checking in with her and asking for her input, usually on dinner or the furniture we should get, but she always looks at me with confusion when I do. She's stated to me before that she's fine with whatever II chose, and I think she actually wants me making most of the decisions, but it's something I can't really help. I want to consider how she feels and treat her like an equal, even if she thinks what she thinks or feels isn't important enough. I can't even play my music outloud or watch movies without wondering if I'm taking up her space or bothering her in any way.
Maybe it's not good for me to live this way, but I don't know. I just want to make her stay here as easy for her as I possibly can. She already hates the town we're living in, since it's still so small and uneventful, and I can tell that she'd really much rather being going to college or living literally anywhere else. And the worst part about it is that neither know how long it'll take before she'll be stable enough to live somewhere else. All I want is to make things easier for her. That's really it.
Other than that, I had my birthday this month. I'm officially now 25 years old, meaning I'm midway through my 20's. I was happy on my birthday as always, but a part of me feels a deep pit of resentment for how long it's taken for me to start living like a proper adult. It's taken me this long to start living on my own, and to even work towards getting a job, and I can't help but mourn just how nothing my early adulthood was. I understand 25 is still very young, but youth feels like something I've been barred off from completely. There's so many experiences I could've had or friends I could've made, but none of that has available to me because of a pandemic and the place I live in.
Sometimes when I'm out, I'll see teenage friend groups laughing and having fun, and can't help but feel like I was denied a basic human right.
But again, my birthday was good. My dad took me to see Obsession in theaters and we all had a massive dinner at my place. I was pretty heartbroken when they all had to leave at 9 PM, mostly because I spent the whole day thinking of thing for us to do all night, but I had to remember that my parents and B don't live with me anymore. It's something I have to get use to, but that's what happens when you get older, I guess.