2024/08/03
I got denied for disability again. For like the third time in a row.
I haven't been talking much about my attempts to get on disability (usually because they're eclipsed by something else going on in my life), but it's such a disappointing and exhausting process. I was diagnosed as autistic when I was four years old and I've gone into so much detail about why I'm currently unable to work, as yet they continue to push me aside and say ".....hmm, you're not disabled ENOUGH for us". It'd really help if they could actually tell me why the fuck they don't consider me disabled "enough", but all we can do is keep walking in the dark and guessing.
But what really stung about this particular rejection is that me and my dad had to do a tribunal hearing for it. We both went on webcam and had to explain to a representative about everything that was going on in person, and yet it still didn't work. My dad was in full bown tears as he described all the reasons why I need help and how stuck I am in my current situation, but it still wasn't good enough.
Nothing's ever good enough for them.
But other than that, the only thing that happened this month was my grandparents visiting. They visit us every summer, but this one time was special because I got to meet my uncle again after a whole decade away from him. I usually don't have a lot of attatchment towards my family members (except for y'know.....the ones I live with), but I've always loved my uncle and his wife. I've been thinking about how much of a shame it is that I rarely ever got to seen him, considering I think we'd have a lot in common nowadays. I remembered him being super into anime and horror movies, and that made me think we'd have a lot to talk about if I ever saw him again.
Turns out I was completely right! Right when he entered my room, he recognized all my Evangelion stuff and we started talking about anime together. Somehow, he's seen Eva, Berserk, Trigun and a bunch of other staples of 90's anime, but not Cowboy Bebop. Fortunately, I was able to watch the first couple of episodes with him and he really liked it! I just hope he's able to finish it without me.